doreyt

My food has been good this week, very proud of that. On Saturday night I went out with Kira…we usually order an appetizer before the main course but this time we didn’t. Had the meal and that was it. We went to Red Lobster and I automatically wanted the all you can eat shrimp, but when the waitress came I didn’t order that. I ordered grilled jumbo shrimp…the better choice. I was so proud of myself that I ate the right foods that night. It is hard going out with Kira because she likes to eat and drink and I do too. I can see myself slipping and getting back into my old habits with her. I am trying not to though. I think this is some kind of test to see if I can really do it or not. 

The last time I weighted myself I was 154. I ran on Saturday 1.50 miles straight through and then walked the rest to equal 4 miles. I was feeling strong. My friend J was there and so was Kira. J is one that lives at the Y, she is a small oriental woman of 53 years old and looks like she is 40. She does everything from kickboxing to boot camp. She is my idol. She is her own motivation and coach. I want to be like her. She is so dedicated to exercising and has so much follow through. If someone does something better then her it’s her personal challenge to do better then them. If it was me…I’d give up and go home. I want to be like J. She also told me to start doing more of the classes and self training because one day I’m going to have to lose trainer girl. I’m going to have to do this on my own. She’s right. Plus trainer girl is expensive. Sigh…I wish I was rich.

Saturday went to a bar on the beach, that had live music and dancing. It was so crowded there. I didn’t feel comfortable dancing even though I took all those dance classes believe it or not. They don’t dance like we danced there. At first I was thinking why am I hear…I don’t fit in. Kira and I danced for a while and she talked to all kinds of people around us…she recognized so many people from the Y and started to talk to them. I didn’t recognize anyone from there. They must go at a different time then I do. Anyway…some guy comes up to me and wants to dance…it was a fast song so the three of us danced. Then it was over…and it was slow song. Kira was going to sit down and I was going to follow her but that guy pulled me back onto the dance floor to dance. Ok, buddies…I’m a prude…I’m old fashion…you can call me anything you want…I still wasn’t having fun when I was dancing with the guy. He had a lot to drink…he was practically laying on me while we were dancing…and wanting to grind up against me. I don’t even know this guy. Then he kisses me twice!!!! ew!!!! Yuck!!!! The first time it was on my cheek, the second he was going for my mouth but I quickly turned for my other cheek. I don’t want his germs!!!!! ew!!!!!! I don’t think the bar thing is for me. I don’t want a drunk. I want a nice guy. Are there any out there? And where do I find them? 

I was watching all the pretty girls dirty dancing and wishing I could just let loose and do that but I’m so self concious…my body doesn’t move that way. I’m stiff like a robot or something or I feel like that. I want to feel sexy and free…just not feeling it out there on the dance floor.

Anyway this weekend was good I did my grocery shopping for the week, had a guy hit on me, lost 2 lbs. and kept to my food plan. Hope everyone else is doing super!