doreyt

I ran on the treadmill for the first time! Yeah me! At first I told my trainer that I just couldn’t do it. I was so scared to run on it…I don’t know why. I guess cause I didn’t think I could do it. She was going to let me get away with it too, but I saw the disappointment in her face and it broke my heart. I had to try.  I ran/walked for 10 minutes and that is a great accomplishment for me since I was so scared to run on the machine in the first place.  I’m happy with my self today.

Woke up at 4:40 a.m. and got ready to go to the Y. I cannot believe that I had the energy and motivation to get my butt up but I did it. I walked 2.5 miles this morning all before 7:00 a.m. I am so happy with myself. I prayed long and hard last night that I would be motivated to get up and go in early. Tonight I’ll go back to they Y and work out with my trainer.

Off to a great start

My weekend was ok. My food was clean…even said no to wine and crackers that were pushed on me 4 or 5 times….and by my trainer! Sheesh…girl has got to stop that I was good and kept saying no thank you. Saturday I was extremely tired…stayed in bed until 9:00, then did some wash and cleaning of the house. Around 1:00 I finally made it to the Y. I had to push myself to walk on the tredmill. I started out with a positive attitude but then like 10 minutes into it I was struggling….I struggled the whole way through…not like me. I did it anyway. I walked 3 miles total and felt great afterwards. Later that night I even tuned into Gilad (fitness tv) and did his workout from Hawaii. I was pumped and happy. Saturday was awesome. 

Today, however, I didn’t do much…I went to church, and then shopping. I tried on some new exercise pants…omg…not for me!!!! I took them off and really looked at myself in the long mirror…all I could think of was … God my thighs are still so big and fat!!!!!  That’s the day I had today. Not feeling good about myself today. Feeling sad…and  yeah I got my period…maybe that could be why.  Moody lately and just sad on myself.

Went to the Y tonight and worked out with my trainer. Could of been better, but wasn’t awful. I did my cardio after too and my knees didn’t hurt at all. We decided to lower the speed on the treadmill and that worked No pain! A very good thing.

At work people are noticing that I’m losing weight. One woman came up to me and said I she noticed my pants getting really big :). I normally wear baggy clothes, but they are even baggier now. I have bought two new pairs of pants…one jeans, and one black causal pants…I guess I should start wearing those. I need new blouses to go with them now. I don’t want to go wild and buy all new clothes if I am still losing weight though…it’ll be to expensive. On Friday at my job, I’m allowed to wear jeans…maybe I’ll wear the new jeans I bought. I don’t know what I’m saving them for.

I just wish I could wake up one morning be thin and just go on with life…and not everybody make a big deal about it. It does feel good people are noticing but for me it makes me feel more pressure to do more and lose more weight quicker…does that make any sense? I’ve lost weight before but always have gained it back plus more…I don’t want that to happen again.

I didn’t work out yesterday, and I am OK with that. My body hurt and I almost didn’t go to work because I felt so bad, but I did go. I was so tired all day long and just dragging. I came home from work, relaxed a bit, made some dinner, and went to bed super early. I just had to take a break. I don’t feel guilty about doing this…it had to be done so I can go work out today with my trainer later tonight. I do feel rested today and not so much pain all over (pms), so I know it was the right thing to do.

My goal for today is that I can have a great work out tonight and not struggle through it.

My knee got a rest at work, and I was able to do some more cardio this evening. I didn’t walk as fast as I walked this morning but I did walk 3 miles total today. It’s a little more then I normally walk, but my goal was to walk 4 miles today…maybe tomorrow I can do it.

This morning I woke up at 5 to go to the Y. I don’t know what I was thinking.  I am not a morning person. I wanted to get an extra work out in to lose weight even quicker…in the morning and at night. I started out great walking on the treadmill. I did about 29 minutes and then all of a sudden my left knee started to hurt. I tried to power through it but couldn’t…I mean I had to stop, I was in that much pain. I only did 1.5 miles…I usually walk 2 to 2.5 miles. If my knee is feeling better I’ll go tonight to do some more cardio. I wanted to do extra cardio in the morning and at night…but my body isn’t willling Darn body…work with me here!

Today I got weighed and measured by my trainer…all good From last month around this time I lost 15 lbs and inches.  My clothes that were tight on me are like falling off me…I have to keep pulling them up as I walk around work…I’m gonna have to go shopping…tomorrow…what a great excuse…gotta have some new work clothes that actually fit, right.  My next mini-goal we set is get to 200 lbs. I am excited…I can’t wait to be under 200 lbs.  I know it’s going to take a lot of work, but I want this and can do this…I will be under 200 lbs soon It’s a great feeling.  

Happy Easter! Since I don’t celebrate Easter today…I celebrate it next month (orthodox) I really didn’t  have a food issue today. I ate well and clean. I was feeling so tired this weekend.

Yesterday I woke up early to do some stuff but went back to bed, then went with some friends out to lunch which was clean…and then I came home and napped some more. I must be PMSing, low energy all the time.

Today after laying around the house until around 2:00 I went to the park, (by myself). I would have went to the Y but it is closed. I was feeling guilty not exercising yesterday or today and tomorrow my trainer is going to weight and measure me again. I have walked the trail before at the park but not alone, and not without many breaks. This time I walked it once all the way through, it’s only 1/2 a mile. It’s so much different then walking at the Y cause the trail is not flat…there is a lot of incline! I should have continued but was feeling hot and tired and went home. My excuse was that I told my trainer I wasn’t going to do anything for the weekend cause I did 5 days this week and she was fine with it…this is a little extra. I know I didn’t do enough today so tonight I’m planning on to watching fitness tv and pick up one of the classes there and work out. We’ll see how well that goes. :) cause right now I’m thinking a nap sounds rather good.    

Woke up early this morning to go to the Y. They had an inter-faith service for Good Friday which I attended. Last night I couldn’t make up my mind if I was going to the cardio kickboxing class or not with my trainer. This morning during the inter-faith service I still didn’t know. I was going to ask my trainer if I was ready for it before the class started (she was taking it too) but she wasn’t there. It was all up to me…did I want to do it or not. I saw one young women getting ready to go in and I asked her if it was really hard. She said kind of and encouraged me to try it anyway…so I did. Hell,  yeah it was tough! Did I quit! Hell no! I toughed it out and hung in there. Sure, I took breaks in between and watched everyone keep going but I joined right back in when I was able. My trainer finally join the class 10 minutes into it…shouldn’t be suprised…she’s always running late. She didn’t notice me in the class…which I am greatful for…no pressure on me to perform. She realized that I had taken the class afterwards and congratulated me on not giving up and finishing. I am just so happy I finally did what I wanted and not worried about other people and what they think. I normally would have just left and gone home if my trainer wasn’t there to hold my hand and encourage me into going into the class but this time I had to motivate myself.  I had to encourage myself and be my own cheerleader and did it! I feel tired, but great and am gaining more confidence in my own abilities.